Does The Compulsion to Label and Identify Really Serve Us?

Just yesterday, I wrote about the concept of the Twin Flame lovers and how I feel that my last relationship resonates with this ideology. Today, it dawned on me that although I feel better at being able to identify his role in my life and who he was to me (or who I perceive him to be), that it did not at all help my situation.

You see, by putting him (or myself) into a category, I was ultimately limiting myself. I was keeping myself hostage from loving deeply and wholeheartedly again because in my mind I was convinced that he was “the one” and there would be no one else that could fill his shoes. Hmmm, I smelled bullshit. Where the hell did this come from? Well, let’s rewind and investigate further, see if this has been a pattern of mine.

  • For starters, there was that one time where I thought that my ex-husband was the only man for me and that he was my soul mate. Fast forward to 2019, I no longer feel this way. AT ALL. But I can see why I felt that way at the time; he provided me with a very strong foundation and support when I needed it most. He helped me with my self-confidence and outlook on the world so I can’t blame myself for believing in the fairy tale.


  • After my marriage ended, I dated this dude from LA who I also felt very strongly about and believed that he could potentially be “the one”. Fast forward to 2019, I no longer speak to him and sometimes wonder “what the fuck was I thinking?”. Only to realize that I was in lust, coming out of a 10 year relationship, and needed an outlet for all the suppressed emotions. Plus, because I felt heard and seen by him, I was ferociously smitten. But once the fire sizzled down and the facade faded, I saw the situation for what it really was.


  • Now this. Here I am, in the same predicament, conjuring up a story that HE is “the one” for me. Oh, Helen. 


This is where I get on my knees and praise the inner divine for allowing me to see this with a new perspective. There’s some clarity arising here; a shift starting to take place. I really don’t want to assign labels to anyone or anything. If anything it just makes me feel worse, makes me feel like I’m dragging my feet through the mud. There’s a feeling of resistance here too, like I’m going against the stream, rather than with it.

Here’s what feels better: the idea that there is no one person who is right or wrong for me. That there is so much love in me to give that it will ultimately attract a being when I am ready. It feels good to LOVE him even though we are apart. To love him while he’s on his journey, finding himself, the way I am finding myself.

It feels good to just BE. To accept the way things are and let go of any beliefs that I’ve acquired to soothe my broken heart. Because I already KNOW that we are more than just a label. We are LOVE. ♥



One thought on “Does The Compulsion to Label and Identify Really Serve Us?

  1. Amen sista! why do we need to have ‘ones’. Who put this bullshit concept into place. Hmm maybe Disney movies, that stem from society, that stems from a patriarchal model, that states that all women (especially because let’s face it men were never told they had a one, just for a time told they should marry one) had to be attached to one husband/owner. So everyone would know who’s property you were. god forbid a women were to have control over her own love life and personal evolution to determine which partner suits her for different roles of co-parenting and co-loving. So they told us fairy tales of a prince that would be your ‘one’ … one what exactly!!! Lol 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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