A (Late) Letter to Santa: All I Want for Christmas is …

As kids, we are taught that if we behave and are “good”, we will be rewarded with many gifts for Christmas. One of the traditions is to write Santa a letter, describing what you want and if you fulfill all of your duties, Santa will grant you those things.

The other day, as I was thinking about the qualities I want in a partner (specifically my next partner because I do intend to get into another relationship, God willing), I realized that I was making a wish list just like kids do when they write Santa a letter for Christmas! I realize I’m a little late, but it never hurts to write down your intentions, desires and wishes. And hey, you don’t have to wait till Christmas to ask for what you want! Plus, I’m a believer that when you write things out and put your thoughts onto paper, the Universe has a funny way of making those things happen. It’s eerily magical. Thus, I wanted to share that “list” of all the qualities I want in a partner. After all, if we don’t learn from our past relationships and use those lessons to manifest what we want in the next one, what good are they (relationships)?

So here goes …

Dear Santa,

I know Christmas literally JUST passed, but I feel like it’s important that you know I’ve been thinking a lot about the type of person I want to be with in my next relationship. Here’s the thing: a part of me wants to be alone so that I can experience the ultimate form of a relationship and really get to know myself. Really learn about what I like, don’t like, what I will and won’t tolerate, and who is worthy of my love. Because I now know, after an arduous journey of learning about self-love, respect, and self-worth, that I am special. I am a goddess and goddesses don’t settle or get mediocre treatment. They are revered and worshiped. So why would I ever chose to be with a partner who can’t fulfill my needs on every level?

I can only settle when I don’t have a clear vision of what I want and need. And what I want is someone who is not afraid to give and receive LOVE. Someone who is courageous to be vulnerable, to descent into the depths of their soul and share their journey with me. Someone who embraces their Shadows and will embrace mine. Someone who is adventurous and spontaneous enough to explore the world with me by their side.

I want someone who’s gentle with my heart; who will nurture it and bring it back to health when it is broken. Someone who is strong enough to carry me when my own legs won’t. Someone who will hold space for me so that I my inner goddess can unravel, so that I can shout and curse when I feel fire in my belly, so that I can dance freely and provocatively (and their ego won’t be threatened by my brazen yet delicate sexuality) and so that I can cry in their arms when I’m possessed by sadness, grief, or shame.

I want a human who is capable of a conversation about life, death, and all all things related to growth. I want someone who lives in their TRUTH and isn’t willing to settle. Yet, their love for me is so fervent that they will be willing to bow to my needs and desires because I will do the same for them. After all, relationships require sacrifice and our duty to one another is to enrich each other’s life’s, sometimes being that we have to put our own shit aside so that the other can be seen and understood.

I want to be seen. To be heard. To be understood. On every level. And when there is a glitch, to use communication to get through it. And when that doesn’t seem to help, I want someone who isn’t afraid or too self-righteous to seek the help of others if it means it’ll help us grow together as a team.  

Lastly, I want to meet a soul who’s so in tune with my mind, body, and heart that when we forge as one in the sexual realm, that it doesn’t just feel like “sex”. That it feels like a conversation is taking place without any words because our souls are united as one and know only one language, the language of Love. That it feels like a journey we are taking to the out bounds of the universe and that we are so connected that experience God in all Her glory together.

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